Circumstances are just circumstances - the meeting is just a meeting, sending an email is not that complicated.........but because of the way you *talk to* yourself before, during, and after all of these things....... this creates the pain, suffering and paralysis.
We over-rationalize and gaslight ourselves in ways that keep us stuck.
Here are some examples of things people say to gaslight themselves -
"I should be over this by now."
"It’s not a big deal."
"I need to stop taking it so personally."
"I always mess it up."
"I’m just being too sensitive about this."
"I’m sure they didn’t mean it to come across that way…"
"They just don’t understand what it’s like…"
"I’m not experienced enough for that."
"It will just take more time for them to respect me and my expertise."
Do you see the pattern?
Here’s why it’s so important to bring awareness to this….
Because when we don’t allow ourselves to feel the way we feel or we make ourselves bad for feeling a certain way, we keep our nervous system stuck in a fight/flight mode.
It might feel counter intuitive but acknowledging and validating how we feel actually down-regulates our nervous system and gives us more capacity and clarity to move forward.
(If you want a podcast episode on this, check out the conversation with psychologist Britt Frank: The Science of Stuck & How to Move Forward).
Time is a finite resource. But how much time do we waste spiraling in our own heads? How much time do we waste with indecision and self-doubt? What if acknowledging and validating how we feel actually gave us more time? The thing is, it does.
You can take more control of your time by taking more control over what's happening in your head and body. And it starts simply with letting yourself feel your feelings.